Andre Agassi: Really? Andre is one of the most interesting people of the year? Is it 1991? Where is my Canon Rebel?
John Ramsey: What? How is he interesting? Again, what year is it? How old is this story, did they film it years ago and forget to run it? Obviously the case is never going to be solved. His wife died, and that sucks, but it doesn't make him interesting.
Steve and Terri Irwin: Well, he died in a weird way and it blows, but when you spend your life taunting dangerous animals it's hardly surprising. Also, wasn't the Croc Hunters' 15 minutes up like 3 years ago? Maybe if they interviewed the kid, Bindy this would be relevant.
Couldn't they find one interesting person? How about going over to Iraq and interviewing any person off the street. I bet they could tell you stories that would curdle milk. Hell, how about going downstairs and interviewing the homeless guy on the corner. I bet he's hilarious. The only thing that makes me not want to burn ABC to the ground is the fact that Tom Cruise isn't on the list (thank god) and that they own Lost.
The rest of the list is below. They of course didn't annouce the number one person to force you to watch, but let me ruin it for you: It's Nancy Pelosi. Love her or hate her, at least she actually has a reason to be on the list.
Andre Agassi: A Good Sport
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Two for the Price of One
Joel Osteen: The Smiling Preacher
Jay-Z: The King of Rap
Steve and Terri Irwin: Soul Mates
Anna Wintour: Always in Vogue
Sacha Baron Cohen: "Borat"
John Ramsey: The Mystery Continues
Patrick Dempsey: Still McDreamy
To wash the nasty taste our of your mouth, Welcome to the Altered State of Drugachusettes! (via Mr. Show)
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