UPDATE: The links have been changed to working copies of the vids.
The guys over at Rooster Teeth (creators of Red vs. Blue and The Strangerhood) have started making commercials for video games, which are fairly awesome. Recently, they made one for Madden 07 in which Dallas Clark (Tight End for the Colts) ends up getting a huge hit put on him. Clark was not so fond of this commercial. So the Rooster Teeth guys put up the "directors cut" of the commercial to please Clark. It is one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile. Check it out:
Incidentally, my company's both at Comic-Con was right next to them this year, and they are a gracious and funny bunch of dudes, I wish them all the success in the world.
Enjoy it and be thankful. And don't get up to early tomorrow to buy stuff. That spot in line is mine. Below you can behold the most awesome meal of all time, the turducken.
I am in Texas! The wife and I came down last night on the red eye for some turkey and tequila (this ain't no pansy Thanksgiving, y'all). I'll update more once I have slept more than five minutes. Just thought I would throw this out there, Rachel Ray is a hack (I know hackery isn't a word, I just like it, so shut it). She just made the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of on her show. Take your left over seven layer dip, chuck stuffing, cranberry sauce, turkey, and mashed potato's on top, and bake it. Who is she paying to make up her recipes over there? I could just throw crap together too. Let's see, take some salad, dump in your miso soup, toss the rest of your fried egg's in, viola! Instant classic. Hire me Rachel! I'll sit around making crap up and collecting a big paycheck.
Below is something that isn't funny or amusing, but is deeply disturbing and everyone should see it. I know this is all over the news, but I don't care, it's important. This kid gets tasered like 7 times, most while he is on the ground alternately begging for mercy and swearing in pain. His crime? He forgot his student ID, which must be shown after 11pm. Warning: this video is rough, so no kiddies.
Just a quick update. My wife came home from work yesterday, and by herself, played the Wii for nearly two hours. Insane. INSANE! If you had asked me last week if that would ever happen, I would have laughed in your face. Another note, my arm is sore as all hell from slamming the tennis ball around.
If you have one, drop your little Mii's off for a visit.
So after an epic, five hour multi-store hunt, my wife and I managed to purchase a Wii on launch day. It wasn't easy. Well, it wasn't easy for me. You see, I got up at 4:30am and went from store to store, always just a few minutes too late. Every line I got in, I was the guy who was three behind the last person to receive a Wii. I didn't even bother trying with the typical game stores. I was at Target, two different Wal-Marts, a Sears, and finally a Cost-Co. After arriving at the Cost-Co, I thought I had it made. Number 15 in line, with 48 units expected. All was well, but after waiting two hours, a manager came out and told the crowd that they, "Didn't know where there trucks were. So they could be delivered in five minutes, or tomorrow." Which caused a near riot. I wanted no part of that, so I decided to leave. About this time, my wife was just waking up, and she called me. After relaying the news, she called the other Cost-Co's in the area, managing to track down a store that A) had units, and B) had not given out vouchers for all of them yet. She jumped in the car and took off for the store, being closer than I was. Of course, she rolled up, walked into the store, and got the second to last voucher. No muss, no fuss.
We then got home, where we played a ton of Wii Sports and Excite Truck. My wife, who has never volentarily played a video game in her life, loved it so much that she made me go out and get another controller so we could play together. I have to say, Nintendo is going to clean up in this next generation. If they can hook non-gamers like my wife, who far outnumber the hardcore gamers, they are going to make a friggin' fortune. Just watching someone play Wii makes you want to buy one. I have yet to see someone play it who doesn't laugh out loud the first time they swing the controller like a tennis racket in order to return a volley. Or like a golf club to hit that long drive. If you can find one, I highly recommend picking up a Wii. Like I said above, it rocks faces.
As a kid I loved the Little's books and, to a lesser extent, TV show. The Little's were the cool little people that lived in the walls and between floors of your house. They made intricate cites and houses out of things they found around the house. I loved looking at all the crazy stuff they made out of ordinary objects. Looking back now, the art was pretty terrible, but as a kid I loved it.
Then, about 10 years later, here come the Borrower's, the scum sucking rip-off written by no talent ass clowns. There is a movie about them. It sucks, hard. The Borrower's are the Go-bots of the little people living in your house genre. In case you some how had the fortune to miss the Go-Bot's, they were the crappy, third rate answer to the awesomeness that was The Transformers. If you got a Go-Bot as a kid, you immediately stuffed it in a hole, or threw it in a lake, lest it pollute your other toys. But I digress. Everything about the Borrower's is terrible. It's like they took everything that I loved about the Little's and stuffed it through a crap filter.
Ok enough ranting. I don't know why I thought of it, but man do those damned Borrower's tick me off.
Aries Spears, perennial performer on the horrifically unfunny Mad TV did some dead on rap impressions on one of the local San Francisco radio channels the other day. I can't find a vid of that, but I did find this one from a few years ago. Check it out.
Sorry I haven't updated the last few days. Super busy at work on an Alpha deadline.
Faith Hill had a hilarious on screen moment at the CMA's last night. She was nominated for Best Female Artist. She clearly had already decided she won, except whoops! she didn't, Carrie Underwood did. Check out the awesome video of Faith freaking out and storming off camera when they announced her loss.
Note: I hate country music, it will never be mentioned on this blog again.
So my wife and I broke our golden rule yesterday. We went to Costco on a Sunday afternoon. This is just about the worst idea, ever. Going to Costco on a weekend is about as close as you can come to being in Hell while you are still alive. It makes you want to commit wanton acts of senseless violence. The parking lot itself is an adventure. There are approximately 8 million people who cannot drive, all circling to find parking spots. Meanwhile, there are families of semi literate, mouth breathing adults and wild animals crossing the road in all directions. I swear I saw some guy herding a flock of goats at one point.
Then, once you get inside, it all just gets worse. There are tribes of indigenous children who live inside the Costco, living off free samples and sleeping in the clothing bins. If they capture you, you must perform feats of magic and skill, lest you be sacrificed to their god, the Great and Powerful Half-Off. No one has any idea where to push their shopping carts loaded down with 300 rolls of toilet paper and remaindered socks. So they all just sort of ram into each other, making forward progress impossible.
No one who works at Costco knows anything. When asked, they provide you with a map to the Oracle, who may or may not be able to tell you where the meat section is and speaks only in iambic pentameter. The only good thing about Costco is that you can buy anything thing there. Need a coffin, plasma tv, aquarium, 15 pound bag of peanuts, and a shotgun? Costco has you covered buddy. We finally were able to escape by brandishing torches and swords (isles 5 and 14, respectively), losing only 2 Sherpa's in the process.
The best part: We pay for the privilege of shopping there.
I know it's the day after Halloween and most people are in a post candy-pocolypse stupor, but I feel that I need to point some things out about one of the most popular cartoons ever: It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.
My wife and I came home from dinner at a friends house and decided to have a glass of wine and watch the Great Pumpkin that we had on Tivo before going to bed. Neither of us had seen the special in a few years, it was not exactly as either one of us remembered. As we watched, we realized a few things that are a bit, well, insane about the Peanuts gang in this show.
1: What kind of fucked up town do the Peanuts kids live in? When the gang goes out trick or treating Charlie Brown is repeatedly give ROCKS as his treat. This brings up some disturbing questions. Do the parents in town have both rocks and candy waiting at the door, just waiting to pass judgment on the children that come knocking? Or even more disturbing, do all the parents have just one rock, waiting to give it to Charlie Brown. The implications are not pretty.
2: Why the hell is more that a quarter of this Halloween Special devoted to a completely Halloween-less premise of Snoopy fighting the Red Barron? There is a good 3 minute sequence where Snoopy, dressed as a WWI flying ace flies his dog house against the evil Barron. Weird? Yes. Acceptable? Borderline. We then get a 2 minute sequence of Snoopy sneaking around war torn France behind enemy lines. Ummm, what? A bit later on, we get another, nearly 2 minute sequence of Snoopy, still in WWI flying ace mode, alternately dancing and sobbing to the music that Schroeder is playing on his magic piano. This bit is excruciating and goes on for what seems like forever. WTF?
3: Lucy and Linus have the worst parents in the world. They allow their son to go sit in a pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to appear. Fine. They then go to bed and totally forget that their son is outside freezing his ass off in a field. Lucy is forced to wake up at 4 in the morning and go drag the nearly dead Linus inside and put him to bed. Maybe this is why Lucy is such a bitch all the time. She is basically raising Linus all by herself.
All in all, this show is stranger than I ever remembered. Check it out in the vid above.
